The Art Collective

                 The Shay Saga - Part IV  Slowly she's learning that there's more to me than she previously thought. Now she's starting to see the darkness that's been hiding slightly beneath the surface, waiting to be fully unleashed, and yet...  She doesn't deserve me. Never has. Never will. She's just a piece of trash to be tossed aside when finished with. She needs to be tied down because I don't want her filthy hands touching me. If she tries to speak, I will choke her until she learns that nothing she says matters. Especially if she tries to say no. That's when she needs a good slap. She's a piece of shit. She's lucky if I only slap her. She's just an object. A toy for my pleasure. I'll push her face into a pillow or wall because she doesn't even deserve to look at me. I will enter her when I want and in any place I want. And I know where she wants me, but she has not earned that yet. She deserves to be spit on, scratched up a...

 You know the feeling when you breakup & get back together again & it happens over & over but then there's the breakup that just feels so different that every nerve gets shot & you can't even talk because you've never felt that way before & everything just kind of.... I don't know, stops? Like you're frozen in time. And you can't shake the feeling. That everything you know about this life is about to change for good & you know its not in a good way & there's nothing you can do to stop it? I'm here to let you know that no matter what you go through, no matter what anybody does to you, you're going to be just fine. You are going to survive. You're going to fall asleep and come morning time, once again, you are going to wake up and do what you've been doing all this time... you're going to live. You're going to eat, breathe, smell, touch, feel, move, walk, run, jump, fly, soar, fall, land, lay, push, pull, thr...

The Shay Saga - Part III  One day you're gonna wake up and you're gonna realize that I'm gone and that I'm never coming back. There might be someone there that you reach for, but it won't be me that you see. I hope that when that day comes that you don't regret what has become of us. We can't predict the future, we can't change the past, we can only control our present, the present is a gift to be cherished, like the memory that was us. I hope the day never comes when you realize I was the one. I wouldn't want you to feel the loss the same way I had to endure.  I See You

 Good evening, my beautiful monsters.  Today, like all of you reading this, I woke up. I did not choose to wake up, it was just one of those natural, everyday miracles that get overlooked by most and appreciated by even less. However, I can choose what kind of day I wish to experience. Today I choose to be alone. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain, loneliness, focus, passion, love... I am able to mold this day that I have been given into whatever I desire it to be. To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices, decisions wether good or bad that will shape me into whoever I'm trying to be. Today I choose to feel the loneliness I have been experiencing more often these last few months, not to deny my humanity but embrace it. This freedom of choice is not exclusive to me. It's not my secret tactic. You too have this ability. And even though I spent the day in the past, it was a choice to make it a l...

 You know you found someone special when they're willing to put the same energy into you as you do for them. Any type of Love should always feel like a two-way street.  One day I hope to know what that feels like..... 

 I think I know now what I realize we are... Two catastrophically wounded people who don't express the depths of their pain because they don't want to. That's our connection. You can't really take back the things that you say, but it's more likely that you'll regret the things you could have said but didn't.....

 I cannot die. There is nothing you can do that will ever stop my beating heart. You see, just as long as my heart still beats, blood will flow through my veins, and I will continue to live. And surely, if my heart hasn't been stopped by now, it never will. My heart must be invincible. My heart was your playground for far too long. My heart continues to beat to this day even when you took it for rides that were meant to be still my beating heart. Even when you took it on the ever so scary emotional rollercoaster, my heart still beats. And I am still here. Living. To those of you who stabbed me in the heart, right through my chest, I am here saying to you, there is still blood that courses through my veins. Some of you even stabbed my heart, not through my chest, but stabbed through my back, and yet alive I am still. My heart does bleed, but my heart does still beat. I can understand why all of you would hurt my heart, it is quite the easy target. Often times I imagine it seems as i...

 If you woke up tomorrow, and saw my obituary in the paper, how would you think of me then? Would you remember all the good times with me then? Would all the hate disappear only to be replaced by the love we once shared? Would you cry for me? Would you regret anything wrong you've ever said or done to me?......... Would I finally recieve your forgiveness for my past sins?..... Would you forget the history and all the hurt I may have caused you?..... Would this be the time you remembered what it was like to be in my arms, and wish that you could have that just one last time?..... The last time we spoke, or maybe spent some time together, if you knew then that might have been the last time we communicated, would you have liked it to be different? Why is it now that I'm dead and gone, that you're actually missing me when I'm away from you? When I was alive, you took for granted that no matter what happened between us, that I would always be there, in someway, and when you ...